Welcome

This is the international website for the #ParentsPromise.

We also have a United Kingdom site for visitors from the UK.

Stay on the international site Visit the UK site

The #ParentsPromise helps parents make a positive commitment to their children today, in case of a relationship breakdown tomorrow.

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#ParentsPromise
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The Positive Parenting Alliance
"The process of separation is failing millions of children and parents around the globe. In some countries, up to 40% of all children experience their parents' divorce or separation. It's one of the greatest, least-recognized, health risks to our children.

The Positive Parenting Alliance is a group of organisations, and individuals, who believe that all children deserve the most positive experience possible during parental separation or divorce.

Our aim is to create a genuinely child-focussed society and better systems to ensure the long-term wellbeing of children when parents separate."

James Hayhurst, Parents Promise Founder
The Positive Parenting Alliance
Why this is so important.
Different cultures and countries deal with family separation in different ways. But, some things remain universal. For children, their parents' separation or divorce brings inevitable feelings of loss and change. Yet, they can still thrive if their parents work in partnership to create the right conditions. We know that children are more likely to adapt with fewer problems, and less emotional distress, when parents are able to part with compassion and continue to work together in partnership, even when they are not together.
Make the promise
Did You Know?

100 million

Around the world, today, over one hundred million children have experienced the divorce or separation of their parents.

#1 mental health issue for children

In some countries, the primary reason for children being referred to counselling are the effects of family breakdown (Fegans (UK) 2020). 'Ongoing family tensions' is one of the most common presenting issues in primary-age children who are referred for one-to-one counselling (67% of children referred to Place2Be (UK)).
Counselling and Psychotherapy Research Journal 

Every second, every minute, every day

Every second, a child self-harms following the experience of a family break-up.
Every minute, a child experiences the trauma of losing a parent in association with a family break-up.
Every day, a child is killed by a parent or close family member following a family break-up that's been through a family court system.

Massive financial cost

The economic cost of family breakdown is enormous. Few countries have calculated that cost but the latest estimate from the UK is an annual cost in excess of £50 billion (US$70 bn)
relationshipsfoundation.org
The changes we are calling for
Every child has a need to be loved by both their parents and their wider families, the right not to have to choose one parent over the other and to be shielded from conflict and adult conversations. They have the right to have both parents working together to create the conditions for them to succeed. They have the right to be a child.
Make the promise
The 3 Changes

1

The creation of a culture in which we all play a part in protecting children from harm, and in helping them thrive, when parents separate.

2

Family wellbeing to become central to the conduct of government, business and all organisations. Employers should recognise the trauma of separation in their HR policies and provide more flexible work, and emotional support, during this period so that children affected are properly supported and their needs considered paramount.

3

An evidence-based approach to family breakdown, driving a transition from law-based to health-focused solutions. This should be fuelled by the collection of fresh data on the financial, emotional and health costs of family breakdown and by a better understanding of the damage done to children through traumatic separations.
Make the Parents Promise
The #ParentsPromise
Dear
Whatever happens in our relationship with each other,
we
&
promise to put your needs first by always:
Recognising that we are both your parents. You have a need for a relationship with each of us, and your wider family. We will never make you choose between us.
‍
Loving you and keeping you safe, whilst always being respectful to one another. As your parents we will never hurt or tell lies about each other.

Working together as a partnership to provide for you and to create the best conditions for you to thrive.

By signing and submitting your Parents Promise you will receive a personalised downloadable pdf certificate.

The Parents Promise in the Media

Parents Promise HR initiative launch (Jan 2023)

The Parents Promise on BBC 5 Live Breakfast (October 2021)

C4 A fathers fight to see his son through a broken family court system (May 2021)

The Parents Promise Launch Video (May 2021)

For advice on how to separate with compassion, or if you are currently experiencing difficulties and distress around these issues and need further support please visit https://www.twowishes.org/get-help.

Our UK site also lists a number of UK support organisations.

The Parents Promise

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#ParentsPromise
The Parents Promise is a social initiative founded by James Hayhurst.
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